"Made to Crave" Monday (Online Group Meeting 2)

Hey All!!!

Welcome to Group session 2 of our online "Made to Crave" study. Currently I have 11 people participating...if you come across this blog and you want to join in, feel free. Just leave your answers in the comment section of this post. Everyone is welcome :) We are all on a journey to be spiritually free from our food issues/addictions.

To my Facebook friends...you have all just blown me away with your honesty and your incredible stories. I am so excited about this group, and my hope is that we all find true freedom in Christ when it comes to our food issues.

Below are this week's questions and homework. Make sure to post your answers in the comment section, or for my FB friends, you can post directly on our group page.

QUESTIONS

1. Go back to last week's post and read all the answers from the group members. Which person do you relate with this most? Or which person's story touched or encouraged you the most? (Please explain why)

2. Currently, what is your number one biggest struggle when it comes to your food issues/addiction?

3. Lysa Terkeurst has said many times that her book "Made to Crave" is not a "how to" book on eating and dieting, but she talked about our "want to" when it comes to breaking our food addiction. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being definitely a yes) how would you rate your "want to" when it comes to truly being free in the area of food issues?

4. If you have joined this group you are already willing to admit your struggle with food is a spiritual issue (or at least that is the direction you are heading)...Lysa talked about how she prayed over and over when she was tempted by food...crying out to God for help. Are you at a point where you are willing to take steps and fight this battle spiritually by praying to God when you are feeling weak or tempted by food.

Ok, I really could go on with more questions, but I don't want anyone to get bogged down with answering to many questions :)

Your homework this week is to read chapter 3 and 4 of "Made to Crave". Blessings and remember this group is open to anyone who wants to join...you can also answer anonymously if you don't want to leave your name or website address.

Blessings Friends... See you back here next Monday for another session :)

Journalin' the Journey (#2)

Hey Friends...

As mentioned before I decided to document or "journal" my journey to become spiritually free from food addiction. This journey began the first week of January when I got back from Florida (You can read my first post if you would like by clicking here). For this post I decided to write about my victories and defeats while on this journey :)


I will start with the "defeats" (or at least I think they are defeats) so I can end on a good note.


-I think my biggest "defeat" is that I am still prone to try to battle this addiction in my own strength...treating it like a diet rather than a whole new way of thinking and eating. I have not yet really transferred this battle to the Lord and let Him help me. I know that He is faithful and will help me if I ask.

- I have such messed up thinking when it comes to food that I am still letting the scale tell me how I am doing. As Lysa Terkeurst reminded me in her book, "Made to Crave", the scale can only tell me how much I actually weigh (the number), but it doesn't tell me who I am in Christ. When I step on the scale at times, it makes me feel like a failure, and in Christ I am not a failure.

-Although I have radically changed the way I eat (at least I think it is radical) I am still struggling with portion control and eating when I am not hungry. I think this happens because as I mentioned above, I am not seeking God to help me with these very practical issues.


OK, I could name some more, but now onto the "victories"...


-I have radically changed the way I eat. For now I have given up sweets (not including fruit) because they are such triggers for me. I have had sweets, but only a few times in the last two months.

-I have pretty much not had "fast food" since January. I don't think I have had any french fries from a fast food place :) French Fries are huge trigger for me, and I know they are not a healthy choice for me. When my family has gone to fast food places, I have made the healthier choices from the menus.

-I am trying to eat more fruits and veggies. I have been taking fruit to my workplace and having fruit instead of the sweet and salty treats that my kiddies bring to school.

-I have been exercising :) I enrolled in a "bootcamp" class and have been pushing myself beyond what I have normally done in the past.

-Since January I have lost about 10 pounds... At times I have seen this as a defeat because in my past I have lost about double the weight when I have been on a diet in the same time frame. However, it is truly a victory because I am doing this the right way this time. My goal is not only weight loss this time around, but complete healing of my mind... I want to be free from food addiction once and for all... I know this is possible with Jesus leading me.


I guess I will stop here for now, and will check in again in the next couple of weeks.

Blessings and remember you can be free from any addiction or struggle if you let Jesus help you in the battle :)

"Jimmy" (Repost)

I decided to repost one of my old entries as it kind of goes along with my last 4 posts about sharing your faith... Plus, I don't have much on the old brain right now, so a repost will work fine...


I definitely paused when deciding whether or not to publish this post. Why? In the past, and sadly even today I have drawn attention to myself to get praise or feel affirmed by others. If you are reading this you know I decided to publish this entry :) I guess my hope in publishing the story is to challenge and encourage others that may act and think like me.

If you knew me, you would know how I struggle at times with being a walking contradiction. I don't like this about myself!!! My heart wants to do one thing, but my mind (and hang-ups) don't pursue the path of my heart. I could go on and on with giving you examples, but I will camp on one for today to explain what I mean.

One thing that really gets to my heart is the plight of the homeless. You know the people you run into everyday that hold up signs asking for help, work or food. Now I know not all people that hold up a sign asking for help are homeless, but I would figure that a good many of them are indeed homeless. Any time I come across someone that is asking for help or money I want to do something. Often I dig down deep into my purse to find some money, and in many cases I have given someone a dollar, or maybe five if I have it (between you and me, when I have money I could always give it).

I want to help so much more, but here is where my mind stops me, or shall I say my Fear stops me. I am just going to be honest here... Many times I am afraid to get close to what I call the homeless. Why? In short, the answer is my SIN. I think thoughts like, "What if they are sick?", or I take a look at them and see how dirty and sometimes, smelly they are, and I don't want to get to close out of fear of catching what I perceive or imagine they might have. I hate that part of myself!!! I want to love people, all people like Jesus did and does. I know I am no better, but my mind doesn't always go there with me. My heart just wants to help the homeless, and I just want to either hug them or love on them in someway, but I do not.

Recently, I have been challenged to tell the people I encounter in this way about Jesus. What good is $20.00 to someone who may not know Jesus at all? Someone that is lost and going to Hell. That is a big question I have been asked, and one that I have really been thinking about lately.

In the past I have said "God Bless You" to those that I have given money to. That is a good practice to tell people "God Bless You", but so many people, even non-Christians say "God Bless You", and in our society today it seems like it has become a catch phrase, something we say very casually without much thought to what the statement really means. I even thought that in radical cases people have even labeled themselves as gods.

A friend challenged me to ask strangers, which in this case would include the homeless, if they knew Jesus. Jesus does change everything. This has not always been easy for me, but it is something I have been convicted of in the past. OK, so I gave you all this back story to get to my real story (I hope you are still reading).

Yesterday, while in a supermarket parking lot I saw a man on a bicycle. I pretty much settled in my mind that he was homeless, or at least in a very extreme living position. From a distance, I saw him approach a woman heading to her car. Part of me wanted to help this man, but part of me wanted to hurry inside the store. I chose to hurry inside the store.

From what I saw I think the woman either ignored him or probably quickly gave him the "NO" answer to whatever he was asking her. He was not so close to me, so I thought I would make it inside the store without him seeing me.

I got out of my care and hurried to the doors, but just as quickly I heard someone behind me say "Excuse me." I knew who it was. I turned to see the man on the bike, and he asked me if I had a dollar so he could buy some sugar. I had never heard that one before, but I wanted to give him something, so I told him yes. I reached inside my bag and found a dollar and I gave it to him and he graciously told me thank you.

In that split second I was trying to think of something valuable to say to him. There was so much to say, but nothing came to me at first. The man then asked me my name, and I told him my name, and then I asked what his name was too. He said his name was Jimmy. He was smiling at me. Here is where I knew I needed to say more than "God Bless You", so I blurted out something like, "Jimmy do you know Jesus?". He replied something like, " Sure do-He's my friend-he's every body's friend."

I didn't exactly know what else to say, and I started to say something when I noticed that Jimmy started to cry, and he wiped his eyes. WOW, what an awesome moment that was for me. I can't remember exactly what my last words to Jimmy were, but after his tears I closed our conversation and told him goodbye.

I entered the supermarket feeling so many emotions. I fought back tears as I walked down the grocery store aisles. So many thoughts entered my head.
- I wished I had said more about Jesus.
-I prayed that Jesus would take my few words, and speak to Jimmy's heart.

One of the thoughts that buzzed through my mind was the fact that Jimmy asked for a dollar to buy sugar. What homeless person is going to buy sugar? I thought about how people say that many times when people are asking for money, that they will end up using it to buy drugs or alcohol instead of using it for what they really need. I have kind of adopted the belief that it doesn't really matter what they end up spending the money on. They will one day answer to God what they have done, but I just need to do as I feel led in situation like this one.

In this situation I did think Jimmy was lying, and that he probably would spend the money on something different. However, I didn't really care so much about that because I know Jesus can speak to Jimmy's heart if He chose to.

I got in line to purchase my item, and as I sat my item down I heard someone behind me say my name. I turned to see Jimmy in line behind me. Guess what he was holding? A big bag of ice, and a small box of SUGAR packets. He quickly showed me the sugar packets. I think in some way he showed me the sugar to prove to me he really did what he said he was going to do with that dollar of mine. You can imagine how humbled I felt in my heart at that moment.

I asked Jimmy what he wanted the sugar for, and he told me that he likes to drink ice tea. Me too... I wanted to do so much more to help, so I asked him if I could buy his two items. He told me that he got the sugar from the Dollar Store next door. He did that the minute I gave him the money. Humbled more.

I bought him the ice and he profusely thanked me. Jimmy's countenance looked cheerful. We talked a bit more. Jimmy asked me where I was headed and he told me where he would soon be going. I don't remember all we said, but I ended the conversation telling Jimmy that I would pray for him. Then I left the store.

I have a feeling Jimmy doesn't get talked to very often, or that he is probably isn't treated as if he matters much.

I don't want me sharing this story to come off as a look what I did story, because honestly I didn't do too much. My flesh wants to praise myself for doing a good deed, but my spirit rejoices that God used me in a small way to make Jimmy smile, and maybe even for a moment Jimmy didn't feel like an outcast.

God showed me something huge yesterday. Honestly, what are the chances that Jimmy would show up in a line behind me with a box of sugar in hand? Moments earlier I was thinking why didn't Jimmy come up with a better line than he wanted to buy a box of sugar. God was so gracious to me by allowing me to encounter Jimmy with that sugar. It just confirmed to me once again that I am not to worry about the results of what I feel God is leading me to do. I am just to obey.

I probably will never run into Jimmy again in my life, but I can rest assured that if Jesus is after Jimmy's heart heart than he will know it. I can also rest assured that God will use everyday events like this situation to humble and make more pure a wretched sinful heart like my own.

I have had a wonderful vacation so far with my family, but I think my experience with Jimmy will stay with me for a long time. It maybe one of my best memories from this year's vacation. Thank you God for meeting me and Jimmy in a supermarket parking lot.... YOU ARE GOOD!!!

God Showed Up at TGIF (Part 4...the final post :)

OK, I have full confidence that I will finish up my story today. However, I have had such a good time remembering some of the experiences that have happened to me. As I age I forget things, so blogging has helped me document those important life events I don't want to forget. Again, if you are reading this post for the first time, scroll down and catch (Parts 1, 2 and 3).

OK, the last post talked a lot about how I had my own hang ups about how things should go when I go to a Christian conference. I still have my issues, but God has showed me that I just need to get over my sinful self and think about others.

Part 2 of this story is kind of where I stopped talking about what happened at TGIF's. My friends and I had just shared the gospel message with our waiter JR. He listened to us, and as I stated I think he was genuinely thankful that we shared the "good news" with him. He promised us that he would go home and think about what we said, and read the literature that we left with him.

At this point I was beyond thrilled about what had just happened at our table. On the other hand, I was getting a little anxious about the time factor. It was around 5:30 and the conference started at 6PM. Plus the fact that we had to meet two other women that I had invited to go with us to the conference made me a little more nervous. As the group coordinator I didn't want to let anyone down. BUT, I truly knew what was happening at TGIF was more important than me making it to the conference so I could see and sing with the Praise Team (Part 3 really goes into detail on this subject).

While I was thinking about all of this, something unexpected happened. JR brings his female cousin that also worked at TGIF to meet us. She was so polite and sweet... But in my mind (I think my friends too), we were wondering why JR wanted us to meet his cousin. Again, I felt like this maybe another opportunity the Lord was placing in front of us. I wondered if JR wanted my friends and I to share the gospel with his cousin too. At the same time I was getting nervous about how much time we had left to get to the conference. As small talk was passed around our table I was in a mental war as of what we should do. Do we dismiss ourselves and go to the conference, or do we share the gospel with JR's cousin? Not knowing what to do, I decide to go to the ladies room (that is always a good option when you don't know what to do, and you have had too many glasses of water :)

So I went to the restroom and tried to refocus myself...Taking that break helped a bit. To my surprise when I return my two friends are engaging JR's cousin in a talk about Jesus. WOW!!! I find out later that my one friend told JR's cousin (let's call her Tessa) that we were just talking with JR about Jesus before he brought her to our table. My friend asked Tessa if she knew about Jesus... Then much like what I did, my best friend began asking Tessa questions about her life and what she believed about God. I will say that although Tessa was as sweet as can be she had a different reaction to the things of God. Without taking too much time to go into everything we talked about, Tessa really didn't know what she believed. She sort of believed in God, but at times maybe not even so sure there is a God. My friend once again, did a wonderful job at answering some tough questions.

Things were winding down again, and we thanked Tessa for listening to us, and asked her to consider the things we said. My friend again left Tessa some information that she could go home and read that would further explain what we had been talking with her about. Although, Tessa did not respond as favorably as JR did, my friends and I were thrilled about what had just happened at our table.

Something neat happened as my friend and I were walking back to the restroom. I saw Tessa talking with two other employees, and she had the booklet opened that my friend had given her. She noticed us, and we kindly said hello. I got so tickled that she was telling the other employees about what had happened...NOW she might have been saying how there were three crazy ladies talking with her and asking her a lot of questions, and that would be OK. Whatever she was sharing with the other employees made me happy because it means she was talking about it...

Later, my best friend said something like, "no conference could be better than what we had just experienced". I so know what she was talking about... We were living out what we believed... All of us left there excited, knowing that we were just planting little "seeds" for Jesus, and in His timing He would do the reaping according to His good will.

The conference was very good, but I truly will remember what happened at TGIF's when I think about that weekend. I have a long way to go when it comes to sharing my faith...Since that night at TGIF I have missed opportunities to share my faith, but I try to use those times to challenge myself the next time an opportunity arises to tell other about Jesus.

Thanks for sticking with me through these posts... I hope they encouraged you in some way...

God Showed Up at TGIF (Part 3)

I think today I will finally finish my story... we will see :)

If you want to read parts 1 and 2, just scroll down a little and you can be informed on what has happened so far...

So the story leaves off where my friends and I were thanking JR for listening to us (sharing the gospel). As things were winding down with JR, I was getting a little nervous about our time frame. Me and my two friends were due to meet two other women at the conference site at 6PM. Looking at my phone, I saw that it was around 5:30 PM. OK, here is where I need to tell another background story so you will know all the thoughts that were racing through my head.

My best friend and I (she is the one in this story who shared the gospel with JR) went to a Christian Women's conference together about 2 or 3 years ago. This event was huge, as I think there were 10,000 women in attendance (and more at a satellite site). Both my friend and I have had the wonderful opportunity over the last 1o years to go to many different Christian conferences, many of them we attended together. I would say that both of us had always gleaned something from every conference we have been too. Actually, a few of the conferences I attended were huge turning points for me in my walk with Jesus... spiritual markers.

I will speak for myself here, in the beginning when I started going to Christian conferences they were like major events...like a spiritual shots in the arm. I had a lot of expectation when I went to the conferences that I wanted to come away totally a different person...totally changed for Christ. As I have matured, now I see I put too much expectation on what the conference would do for me... The conferences should have been encouragement along the way, not my main source of change. My daily relationship with Christ should be where the most change happens.

By the time I went to this conference with my friend I had a better understanding of what I should expect from a conference. I wanted to listen to see if God wanted to show me something during my time at the conference. BUT I still did have my little ideas about how things should be at the conference... I wanted to be on time for sure. I wanted to sit close so I could really engage with worship and the speakers.... I just wanted to have the perfect little conference experience. However, this time I would have a bit of a wake up call.


First of all, my friend and I were running a little late to the conference, and as you can imagine a conference that was sold out with 10,000 women in attendance would cause a little bit of traffic congestion. So on the outside I am playing it cool, but on the inside I am a little stressed. In my head I am thinking..."there goes our good seats". My friend and I press on, and finally find a parking spot. Things are good now.

However, as we are walking to the conference center entrance my friend and I come across a homeless man. AHHH... this is where things get a little tough. You see I have such a heart anytime I see someone that is homeless or asking for help or money. My heart is always drawn deeply to do something. Sadly, fear and not knowing what to do has kept me from helping more times than I liked to admit.

There were many women still on their way into the conference, my friend and I included, and we walked right past this man into our happy little arena filled with brothers and sisters in Christ. As I walked by, both my friend and I were convicted that we should stop and talk with him, but we just didn't know exactly what to do. Also, in my head the conference had already started and I didn't want to miss any of it.

Right here, I will say that I don't know that there were not other women that day that stopped and talked with the homeless man, but from my viewpoint and that of my friend all we saw were a bunch of Christian women (us included) that were passing this man by so that we could go to a Christian conference and learn more about Jesus. Something was wrong.

My friend and I entered the door of the arena, and I think we went straight to the restroom. I could hear that the worship had already begun, so we were late. However, the weight of what my friend and I just did...walk by a man who needed help and needed Jesus... was heavy on us both. I think my friend said something about how ironic it was that all of these women are here to go to a Christian conference, and yet we all walk by and don't share the love of Christ with this hurting soul outside (paraphrasing). I so agreed in my heart.

I then asked my friend if she wanted to go back outside and talk with him. She quickly agreed and we both went outside to talk to the unknown homeless man. Nervously, we approached the man and talked with him for awhile. I wish I could remember everything that was said, but basically we told the man about Jesus. He told us he did know Jesus, but he has just been in a bad place for a long time. We encouraged him as could, and we even prayed with him. I don't know what that experience did for that man...I don't know where he is today, but according to his reaction that night I do believe that he felt Jesus loved him and didn't forget him...even in a sea of 10,000 women.

My friend and I went back into the conference and we were really late by this time... We had to sit at the tippy top of the arena...I mean tippy top, we were the last row of seats. We were way high up, and both of us probably didn't engage with the speakers as we might have if we were closer, but there was something in us that day that was filled with joy because of our experience with the man outside.

I tell this story not to "toot" my own horn... to brag that my friend and I witnessed to the man when no one else would. Maybe that man was put there by God that night just so my friend and I would be challenged to step outside of our comfort zone and practice what we had been preaching.

That night my friend showed me that it was not about us going to a conference to get our spiritual tanks filled up, but that the experience with the man is what it was all about...living out what we have been taught at all those conferences. It didn't matter that we were late and missed all of worship, and it didn't matter that we had the worst seats in the house, but it did matter if we passed a man who needed to know the love of Christ in order to go get a good seat at a conference. God used my friend and a homeless man that night to open my closed eyes... I love Him and I love her too.

Alright, I guess there will be a part 4, but I promise part 4 will be short :)

No Crying (or Yelling) Over Spilt Milk

(Finally I am actually writing a personal blog post...no review of movies or products :)

Well, I have to give a little background before I share what happened to me a couple of weeks ago...this is actually one of those "Full Circle" kind of stories if you want to call it that... I kind of think of it as a redemption story in many ways :)

I am guessing I have probably written about my struggle with anger on this blog, but maybe not. It took me a long time to say out loud that I struggled with anger... Anger is such an ugly word, and when I think of anger I normally think of it as a struggle for men more than women. Plus, I didn't know at the time many women who were at least admitting to struggling with anger... Who really wants to say, "Hi, I'm _____ and I'm Angry" NOT ME.

Anger just didn't fit with my sweet personality (OK, you probably think I struggle with pride too after saying I am sweet, but I only use sweet to describe my personality...I love people and I love to talk to everyone). My "sweet" personality only helped to disguise my anger problem for a long time...most people never had me pegged as a person who deals with anger. Shoot, I didn't have me pegged as an angry person. It is funny how blind a person can be.

I am going to have to shorten the details of my struggle with anger for the sake of the few that may read this post...I guess in the bloggy world, long posts are not good. I hope to keep writing about my journey with anger more on this blog in the future, but for the sake of this post I will say this.... God opened my eyes to my struggle with anger about 10 years ago, and through Christ I now would now not classify myself as a person that struggles with anger (at least chronically). I may get angry and respond in the wrong manner, but again through Christ I feel like I have been set free (at least for the most part :) from anger.

OK, so how does anger relate to spilt milk??? I so wish I could tell you the whole story of my journey to freedom from anger, but for now I will just share what you need to know for my blog post title to make sense. Before I really began my journey with God to be set free, little things could send me into a verbal tirade... Not with swear words, but with loud, mean-spirited comments. (Confession: I want to stop writing this post...it feels bad to see myself in this light, but the truth is what sets us free...Jesus is Truth, so I will continue) Sadly, my anger surfaced most with my kids (and Hubby)...Actually, it was through my children that God opened my eyes to my anger problem, and He began setting me free.

I remember one time one of my children spilled juice (I think it was red) all over my floor. It was an accident, but I just didn't feel that way. I don't remember what I said, but I just remember being so frustrated and angry that I just started yelling at the child and blaming him for spilling the juice... The more I cleaned up the juice, the more I became more frustrated and just keep yelling at my child. My child was scared and I know that I crushed his spirit.


It seemed my anger was brought out in many situations like the one above... Time and time again I would lose it because I was frustrated with the situation. For a brief minute, I would think I would feel better if I just let it all out... For a brief second it would feel good, but after a few minutes had passed I always felt horrible about the way I reacted. Sometimes, I would cry and pray for forgiveness, and other times I would seek out the person I yelled out so I could apologize... The cycle was never ending... I wanted to get out of the crazy cycle....One day I did...

One of the most amazing things about my journey to freedom from anger is that I can't even tell you how it happened. All I know is that it began with a honest admission to God (and many others) that I had an anger problem, and the rest is kind of a mystery to me about how I was set free, but I was (still am in the process). God is faithful!!!

So fast forward about 8 years... I think it was last week that I was sleeping in, and one of my boys run into the bedroom to tell me that "Terminator" (my youngest) spilled milk all over the floor. I even think my child told me that it was the whole gallon of milk...OK, that got me a little freaked out, so I calmly (well sort of calmly) get up to survey the damage. As I round the corner, I see Terminator holding what is left of the cracked gallon of milk in his little hands, and what was not still in the milk jug was all over my kitchen floor. How would I respond? That was the question...

I took a deep breath, and took action. I took the broken jug from Terminator and had him move away from the milk. About that time my mother in law came in (she had stayed the night) and she asked how she could help. I asked her to get some towels from my closet so I could sop up the milk. OK, I could give you the step by step, but let's just say I cleaned up all the milk with the towels, and all was well again. No yelling, no verbal tirades, no making my boy feel like a failure for spilling the milk.

My story ends with my Terminator coming over to me wondering if he was going to get in trouble (I am sure my other boys had him convinced he was in trouble). I asked him if it was an accident and he told me it was. I then asked Terminator if he gets in trouble for accidents, to which he told me no, but I think he was still not sure. I assured him we don't, and he walked away a happy, but milk sticky kid.

It was not long after that God reminded me of where I have come in my struggle with anger...10 Years ago, things would have went a lot differently with the spilled milk... Redemption...full circle...whatever you want to call it. God did the impossible, but He is in the business of doing the impossible, so I never should be surprised, but thankful... Praise be to God!!!

OK, I ended up writing a long post anyway... Hope you made it to the end of the post :)
Blessings Friends...