Journalin' the Journey (#2)

Hey Friends...

As mentioned before I decided to document or "journal" my journey to become spiritually free from food addiction. This journey began the first week of January when I got back from Florida (You can read my first post if you would like by clicking here). For this post I decided to write about my victories and defeats while on this journey :)


I will start with the "defeats" (or at least I think they are defeats) so I can end on a good note.


-I think my biggest "defeat" is that I am still prone to try to battle this addiction in my own strength...treating it like a diet rather than a whole new way of thinking and eating. I have not yet really transferred this battle to the Lord and let Him help me. I know that He is faithful and will help me if I ask.

- I have such messed up thinking when it comes to food that I am still letting the scale tell me how I am doing. As Lysa Terkeurst reminded me in her book, "Made to Crave", the scale can only tell me how much I actually weigh (the number), but it doesn't tell me who I am in Christ. When I step on the scale at times, it makes me feel like a failure, and in Christ I am not a failure.

-Although I have radically changed the way I eat (at least I think it is radical) I am still struggling with portion control and eating when I am not hungry. I think this happens because as I mentioned above, I am not seeking God to help me with these very practical issues.


OK, I could name some more, but now onto the "victories"...


-I have radically changed the way I eat. For now I have given up sweets (not including fruit) because they are such triggers for me. I have had sweets, but only a few times in the last two months.

-I have pretty much not had "fast food" since January. I don't think I have had any french fries from a fast food place :) French Fries are huge trigger for me, and I know they are not a healthy choice for me. When my family has gone to fast food places, I have made the healthier choices from the menus.

-I am trying to eat more fruits and veggies. I have been taking fruit to my workplace and having fruit instead of the sweet and salty treats that my kiddies bring to school.

-I have been exercising :) I enrolled in a "bootcamp" class and have been pushing myself beyond what I have normally done in the past.

-Since January I have lost about 10 pounds... At times I have seen this as a defeat because in my past I have lost about double the weight when I have been on a diet in the same time frame. However, it is truly a victory because I am doing this the right way this time. My goal is not only weight loss this time around, but complete healing of my mind... I want to be free from food addiction once and for all... I know this is possible with Jesus leading me.


I guess I will stop here for now, and will check in again in the next couple of weeks.

Blessings and remember you can be free from any addiction or struggle if you let Jesus help you in the battle :)

Journalin' the Journey

Recently I wrote a post titled, "The Freedom Dance" for the "A Martha Heart" website. I am blessed to be one of many online contributors at the AMH site. My post was about my commitment with the Lord to be free from my food addiction. Currently I would not classify myself as free from my addiction to food, but I am making progress everyday toward that goal.

I decided that I would do a monthly post about my journey to become free from food addiction at the AMH website, but I also decided that I wanted to do something similar here at my personal blog. I plan to be more in depth here at my blog about how my journey to freedom is going. My blog is like my journal (well except the fact that anyone on the web can read it :), so I want to document the process of becoming spiritually free from my food addiction.

So for today's post I just want to journal about the "why" I decided it was time to break free from my lifelong addiction to food.

(In no particular order)

-I have not been overweight my whole life, but I feel like this food issue started with me when I was very young. I feel like I have been on some kind of diet since my early teens.

-I want to be a good example to my kids. I can see that at least one or two of my kids may fight this same battle as they age.

-My mom and dad have heart issues. My mother had quadruple bypass surgery about 2 years ago. She then suffered mini strokes and had to have surgery on her carotid arteries as they were both almost 100% blocked. It runs in my family :(

-Recently I had a blood test done for some insurance type issues and it came back that my cholesterol level was at a 255 which is very high. That scared me to death.

-I am overweight. I think by today's health standards I even classify in the obese range :(

-I don't have a lot of energy... I feel tired a lot of the time.

The things I mentioned above weigh heavy on my mind, but I think the reasons I will list below are the bigger reasons why I decided that I want to be free from my food obsession.

-I am in disobedience to God when I choose food over Him. I feel like He has been so gracious to me and has given me a lifetime to make changes, and I keep choosing food. To be honest I have not ever really wanted to truly surrender this issue to God...at least 100% surrender (isn't that the only kind of surrender there is??)

-The battle in my mind over food is so exhausting and relentless. It is an all out WAR!!! I have been dealing with this mental bondage for so long that I know I am not thinking correctly or truthfully when it comes to this addiction.

-Jesus paid the price for my freedom, and I want to be Free!!! I don't know what freedom will completely look or feel like, but I know currently I am not there.

There are probably more reasons that I could list, but for today's post I will stop here. Again, I am not sure how this whole journey will play out, but I know that it has begun (I started this journey around the first week of January).

On my next post, I will write about the "how" I began this journey, and the "what" I am doing to become free.

Blessings...