The Doggy Diaries

The "Pooper Scooper" Crew loving their job :)

Einstein...

Dear Diary,

I got a puppy on Saturday... My family and I have been looking for the right doggy to join our family for over two years now. Well, we finally found him. He is a little tiny puppy and he is a mix of 4 different dogs...doxie, chihuahua, beagle, spaniel mix. Talk about multiple personalities :) His name is Einstein (Einey for short) and he is adorable. Here are some things I have learned in my 3 days as a doggy owner.

-Having a puppy is HARD WORK...what was I thinking?
-Puppies are cute, but they don't look as cute when they "go" on your floor.
-Puppies can get pretty stinky... I can't wait to get that doggy perfume stuff :)
-Puppies don't always follow all the rules...especially those in listed in the all those "puppy" books.
-Puppies are CUTE and can make you smile real easily.
-There is nothing cuter than watching my boys play with their new puppy.
-Having a puppy is going to help develop responsibility for my boys...for me.
-It is super hard to get up in the wee morning hours to let your puppy out to potty.
-Routine and consistency pay off big time when raising and training a puppy.
-I can take my puppy into the Pet Supermarket store with me and shop...that is so cute :)

I will check back in soon and let you know how Einstein is adjusting to his new life. Or to let you know how I am holding up :)

My Summer Experiment with "Extreme Couponing"

Hey Bloggy World...

I am hoping that this summer I will pay more attention to my blog. I think I have noticed a pattern with blogging...many people start out writing all the time, but then after a couple of years they don't write as often. Case in point..ME. Actually for me I have to be careful because I could spend hours and hours on the computer and that would be a waste of precious time for me.

Ok, this post is not about blogging, but about my summer trial run with couponing. It all started after I watched a few episodes of "Extreme Couponing". That show is amazing and always leaves me with my mouth wide opened. The people on the show are very extreme with their couponing and they are able to dedicate way more time to couponing than I will ever be able to do, or would actually want to do. However, the show awakened me to the fact that I could probably do some kind of saving when it comes to my grocery bills, and thus began my journey with couponing.

The thing that really kicked it off for me was an "Extreme Coupon" class that was offered by my local Grocery Store. I was amazed by what I heard, and the speaker that day broke the idea of couponing down so I could get a grasp on it. After the class, I began to think that I could actually do this thing. Not getting $1000 dollars worth of groceries for 47 cents, but maybe, just maybe I could save 25 to 50 percent on my grocery bill.

So I have committed to give this couponing thing my best try for the summer, and when the summer is done I will evaluate and see if "couponing" is something I can sustain without it taking over my life. I have already learned some very cool things and had one trial run to the grocery store in which I saved 50% on my bill. That was exciting...

I don't want to make this post too long, but I will come back here often during the summer to update you on how my journey is going, and to share tips (even though I am a novice). If you coupon, or are interested in beginning your own journey please leave a comment here. It is always more fun to try new things with a "community"...especially an online one :)

Blessings and Savings to you...

Too Much Time Can Be My Enemy...

Hey Bloggy Friends...

A very weighty title for what is going to be such a short post... Actually all the title means is that summer is here and I have a lot of extra time on my hands since I am not working. I teach and so I have my summers off with my children.

I can tell you that I have plenty to do this summer...Clean, organize, purge my household of things I don't need. Then there is the matter of my children... They of course are the most important priority I have during the summer. I don't want them to waste a whole summer playing video games and just waste away mentally at the same time. This summer I want to invest in them more than I have in the past.

I have plenty of ideas of things I can do with my kids. Things that are not just fun for them, but things that will draw us closer together as a family. This summer I not only want us to draw closer as a family, but I want my kids to draw closer to Jesus. I have fallen short when it comes to investing in my kids spiritually, and as time passes by I see that I have no time to waste.

I am very aware that I can make all these wonderful plans to have the best summer ever and everything could go south. Actually, I realize I need to focus in on one thing this summer and I truly believe all else will fall into place. The Bible says to "seek first the Kingdom of God" and that right there is my answer. I personally must seek God first in everything I do this summer. Seeking Him will help me to focus in on the things that truly need to get accomplished this summer and beyond.

So I am going to leave you with a little list of things I am going to do this summer...sort of like an online accountability, and I will check back in this summer to let you know how I am doing.

-Get up early (before kids) several times a week to spend time with God in prayer and in His Word (my bed doesn't count... I have tried this already)
-Turn off the TV, and seek to fill that time with things that will help me in my walk with Christ
-Limit my time on the computer...like the TV I can get lost in the world wide web...both the TV and computer can be big stumbling blocks for me spiritually


Ok, I know this is a short list, but I don't want to get overwhelmed with a never ending list... I truly believe that if I do these things listed above change will happen.

So what about you??? What are your plans for summer? How will you draw close to Jesus this summer? (If you have never commented before, feel free to leave a comment today :)

17 Years

Today is my 17th wedding anniversary. 17 YEARS...that is a big number...Almost half of the years I have been alive :) I wanted to write a little post today in honor of my anniversary. Well, really not in honor, but in praise to God for these last 17 years.

Actually, I wanted the title of this post to be "Divorce is not an option". Those were some of the first words that were spoken by myself and my husband that began the healing and saving of our marriage.

Before I begin, I just want to say that if it had not been for God's intervention, my marriage could have ended in divorce. I take no high road here and act like a divorce could never happen to me, but I do believe that as long as my husband and I keep seeking God individually and as a couple we will not head down that path. I could write a book about this subject, but I will only write a little bit of my story today in hopes of encouraging those who might stumble across my blog and take time to read this post.


Like many young couples my husband and I jumped into marriage without thinking everything through...we loved each other and that is all we thought we needed. Boy, were we wrong. Again, I could really go into a lot of details, but I don't want this post to go on and on. The "get to the point" version of this story is that my husband and I both had issues (emotional baggage) that we brought into our marriage. Since this is my story I will focus in on my issues.

I never lived on my own, basically I went right from living with my parents to living as a wife. I was extremely selfish and I didn't have a clue on how to be the wife that God called me to be. Not to mention that I indulged in a steady diet of Hollywood movies from a young age, and that perpetuated the idea of what romance and marriage should be like...A BIG FAIRY TALE with everyone living "happily ever after". Well, "happily ever after" takes a lot of work.

Take all of that, and add a nice helping of "financial woes", and you have a recipe for a marital disaster. Before I go on, I don't want you to think that all of my early years of marriage were bad, actually my husband and I had many enjoyable seasons in our early years. But we were not dealing with the deeper issues, and that in and of itself would come back to wreak havoc in our marriage.

I had said that I wanted to title this post "Divorce is not an option" that is because during our early years the word "divorce" was thrown around by myself and my husband when we were arguing. Half the time I said that word, I didn't really mean it, I just wanted to hurt my husband or maybe at some level I just wanted out of the conflict, but not out of my marriage. I think I hoped that if I said that word, my husband would suddenly wake up and act more loving toward me, or at least do what I wanted him to do. However, I never realized the damage that came from both of us throwing the word "divorce" around so easily. Not until God opened my eyes to the damage that word could cause.

During those early years, God opened my eyes to many things. One of the biggest things God showed me was that I needed to look in the mirror and stop trying to change my husband. Changing my husband was not my job, but God's job. During that time, I realized that using the word "divorce" was a destructive force in our marriage. I remember one time sitting down with my husband and having the discussion about us not using the word "DIVORCE" anymore. Even if we didn't know what to do to solve our problems, we knew that we would be together figuring it out.

It is time to bring this post to an end, but I have to say that it wasn't the fact that my husband and I stopped using the word "divorce" that saved our marriage. It was that fact that during those early years, I stopped focusing in on changing my husband and sought God to help me change, and God got a hold of my husband's heart as well and changed his heart. God was changing my husband and changing me, and at the same time He was healing and saving our marriage.

17 years later... my husband and and I are still fighting, but not in a bad way...we are fighting for our marriage. We are far from perfect, but we are committed to each other. We have a good marriage that is thriving, and I know that is because God came into our marriage and into both of our hearts and changed us forevermore.

Today on my anniversary I am reminded of God's goodness and God's power to save anyone or anything. Thank you God... You are Life and Love...

Journalin' the Journey (#2)

Hey Friends...

As mentioned before I decided to document or "journal" my journey to become spiritually free from food addiction. This journey began the first week of January when I got back from Florida (You can read my first post if you would like by clicking here). For this post I decided to write about my victories and defeats while on this journey :)


I will start with the "defeats" (or at least I think they are defeats) so I can end on a good note.


-I think my biggest "defeat" is that I am still prone to try to battle this addiction in my own strength...treating it like a diet rather than a whole new way of thinking and eating. I have not yet really transferred this battle to the Lord and let Him help me. I know that He is faithful and will help me if I ask.

- I have such messed up thinking when it comes to food that I am still letting the scale tell me how I am doing. As Lysa Terkeurst reminded me in her book, "Made to Crave", the scale can only tell me how much I actually weigh (the number), but it doesn't tell me who I am in Christ. When I step on the scale at times, it makes me feel like a failure, and in Christ I am not a failure.

-Although I have radically changed the way I eat (at least I think it is radical) I am still struggling with portion control and eating when I am not hungry. I think this happens because as I mentioned above, I am not seeking God to help me with these very practical issues.


OK, I could name some more, but now onto the "victories"...


-I have radically changed the way I eat. For now I have given up sweets (not including fruit) because they are such triggers for me. I have had sweets, but only a few times in the last two months.

-I have pretty much not had "fast food" since January. I don't think I have had any french fries from a fast food place :) French Fries are huge trigger for me, and I know they are not a healthy choice for me. When my family has gone to fast food places, I have made the healthier choices from the menus.

-I am trying to eat more fruits and veggies. I have been taking fruit to my workplace and having fruit instead of the sweet and salty treats that my kiddies bring to school.

-I have been exercising :) I enrolled in a "bootcamp" class and have been pushing myself beyond what I have normally done in the past.

-Since January I have lost about 10 pounds... At times I have seen this as a defeat because in my past I have lost about double the weight when I have been on a diet in the same time frame. However, it is truly a victory because I am doing this the right way this time. My goal is not only weight loss this time around, but complete healing of my mind... I want to be free from food addiction once and for all... I know this is possible with Jesus leading me.


I guess I will stop here for now, and will check in again in the next couple of weeks.

Blessings and remember you can be free from any addiction or struggle if you let Jesus help you in the battle :)

Journalin' the Journey

Recently I wrote a post titled, "The Freedom Dance" for the "A Martha Heart" website. I am blessed to be one of many online contributors at the AMH site. My post was about my commitment with the Lord to be free from my food addiction. Currently I would not classify myself as free from my addiction to food, but I am making progress everyday toward that goal.

I decided that I would do a monthly post about my journey to become free from food addiction at the AMH website, but I also decided that I wanted to do something similar here at my personal blog. I plan to be more in depth here at my blog about how my journey to freedom is going. My blog is like my journal (well except the fact that anyone on the web can read it :), so I want to document the process of becoming spiritually free from my food addiction.

So for today's post I just want to journal about the "why" I decided it was time to break free from my lifelong addiction to food.

(In no particular order)

-I have not been overweight my whole life, but I feel like this food issue started with me when I was very young. I feel like I have been on some kind of diet since my early teens.

-I want to be a good example to my kids. I can see that at least one or two of my kids may fight this same battle as they age.

-My mom and dad have heart issues. My mother had quadruple bypass surgery about 2 years ago. She then suffered mini strokes and had to have surgery on her carotid arteries as they were both almost 100% blocked. It runs in my family :(

-Recently I had a blood test done for some insurance type issues and it came back that my cholesterol level was at a 255 which is very high. That scared me to death.

-I am overweight. I think by today's health standards I even classify in the obese range :(

-I don't have a lot of energy... I feel tired a lot of the time.

The things I mentioned above weigh heavy on my mind, but I think the reasons I will list below are the bigger reasons why I decided that I want to be free from my food obsession.

-I am in disobedience to God when I choose food over Him. I feel like He has been so gracious to me and has given me a lifetime to make changes, and I keep choosing food. To be honest I have not ever really wanted to truly surrender this issue to God...at least 100% surrender (isn't that the only kind of surrender there is??)

-The battle in my mind over food is so exhausting and relentless. It is an all out WAR!!! I have been dealing with this mental bondage for so long that I know I am not thinking correctly or truthfully when it comes to this addiction.

-Jesus paid the price for my freedom, and I want to be Free!!! I don't know what freedom will completely look or feel like, but I know currently I am not there.

There are probably more reasons that I could list, but for today's post I will stop here. Again, I am not sure how this whole journey will play out, but I know that it has begun (I started this journey around the first week of January).

On my next post, I will write about the "how" I began this journey, and the "what" I am doing to become free.

Blessings...

Link to "The Freedom Dance"

I wrote an article for the A Martha Heart Website today. Click here to see my article titled, "The Freedom Dance".

Blessings...

The "Name"

Can you believe that a month has already gone by in 2o11? It is scary how time truly does fly (especially since I turned 40 this past November :) I surely was hoping to be a little more regular with my blog postings, but it seems that 2011 has been awfully busy so far, but today I have a moment and I wanted to get some thoughts organized into some kind of post.

Last month, I had the privilege of listening to several teachers/pastors via the web. The conference was the Passion 2011 in Atlanta. Now I don't live in Atlanta, but I was able to listen live during all the main sessions on the web. I listened to sessions from Francis Chan, John Piper and Louie Giglio. I was encouraged and challenged by all three of these sessions, but one session really stuck with me. It was Louie's message...

I will not be able to perfectly retell everything that Louie said, but the main point of his talk was to remind us that we (Christians) are representing the Name of Jesus. Louie mentioned that in today's society the word "Christian" doesn't really even stand out anymore. He is right, I see people today throw that word around very easily. Many people would call themselves a Christian just because they either go to church, or maybe they believe in God (without actually having a relationship with Him). Even in my own life when I tell people I am a Christian it really doesn't evoke a response from them.

On the other end of the spectrum when people hear the word "christian" they may think of people who have not represented Jesus they way Christians are called to do. They may think of Christians as "hypocrites" or they may have a vision of the many christian people that have "fallen from grace".

Louie also mentioned that today's society is OK when we talk about God, but it is a whole different story when we mention the name of Jesus. I find that statement to be true in my life as well. Mentioning the name of Jesus takes a conversation to the next level. I realize that I too do not always mention the name of Jesus when I am talking about spiritual things with others. I have to think that at times I may not specifically talk about Jesus because I know that mentioning the name of Jesus changes everything...

So after listening to Louie's message I was challenged with the question, "Am I representing Jesus the way I am called to-to a world that so desperately needs to know the One that can set them free???" I don't want to sink back and be afraid to talk about Jesus... He had given His all for me, and for me not to give my all to him is a sin.

Jesus, I need You... I love you, even though I know my love for you is still so little, but I know the more I seek to know You the more I will love You. The more I know you the less I will fear what people say and think of me. The world needs You!!! I need You... May I represent You the way you are to a world that so needs You Jesus ...

I leave you today with this question... How are you representing the name of Jesus????

I'm Still Alive (and some words about turning 40)

Hey Bloggy Friends (I am not sure I have any left, due to my horrible lack of blog postings :)

Rule number one of blogging is that you actually write something on the blog. When I started blogging I felt like I was writing something everyday, but life has caught up with me and I can't write as much as I would like. Actually, it isn't so much that life has caught up with me, but that I am wanting to be intentional when I write here on the blog. I have always said that this is my journal, and I very much write like this is a journal...with no worries about grammar and punctuations (thus my love of multiple periods after every sentence...) So back to intentionality... I recently turned the big 40, and it really has had me thinking deeply.

(Take a peek into my deep thoughts) OK, so the average lifespan today is between 70-80 years. Of course a lifespan is not determined by statistics made up by men, but by God, but the reality of life is that no one lives forever. So with looking at the average lifespan, you could say statistically that I have lived about half of my earthly years. That thought in and of itself really stuck with me, and it has caused me to do some evaluating of my life. There are so many things that I want to do...not bucket list kind of stuff, but to me heavy duty life stuff.

-Witness to that friend that I have known forever
-Have that conversation with that family member that I have been wanting to have for years
-Be intentional with being a good neighbor to my neighbors...not good in the world's sense of thinking, but good so that a door may open so I can share Christ with them
-Really learn what it means to fast and pray
-Actually I really need to learn what it means to pray first

OK, so you get the idea... Turning 40 has made me realize that I can't keep putting these things off hoping to do them one day. I must be intentional now with the time that God has given me...each day of life is to be lived for Him fully. I have lived a lot of my life for me, and not for Him and I don't want to do that anymore.

Well, it is time for me to go, but I said all of this to say that in 2011 (God willing) I want to be intentional with everything I do, that includes this blog. This blog has been for me in so many ways, but if it is something I should continue to do I want to turn the focus more on God and how He is working in my life...that is the title of my blog after all (To Know Him)...

Blessings friends, and may you seek and find Jesus this Christmas season and beyond...

I Miss the Altar...

This past week I got to visit another church with some friends of ours... I noticed during the invitation time that people could come up to the front of the church and kneel at the altar to pray...this made me think of the churches I grew up in. During the last part of the service members could come up to the front and pray at the altar... So what kind of praying was going on at the altar???

-First time decisions to receive Christ as Savior

-Prayers for healing

-Prayers of supplication

-Prayers of confession and repentance (and much more)

I remember the times I went to the altar to pray. Normally it was prayers of confession and repentance... The altar call meant business... I remember how nervous I would be getting up in front of all the people to pray at the altar, because I knew that people might be wondering why I was there (because my mind at times would think the same thing about the people that would go to the altar). It also seemed very normal to watch people (and myself) walk away from the altar in tears... Again, there was just something about going up in front of the church and visibly showing your need for Christ that made it feel more serious...The altar seemed like a sort of holy place to me.

So this weekend, I was reminded of how I wished in every church there was a time where people could go to the altar and settle whatever issues they needed to with God...BUT then I thought about the verse in Romans 12 1-2

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

These verses reminded me that I do not need a physical altar, but that my life is to be a sacrifice to God... In some sense I should be laying my life down on an "altar" daily... dying to myself, and dying to my will and desires. If I waited to do this only on days where I could go to a physical altar I would be wasting the precious time that God has given me. I can't afford to do that...

I still love the idea of going up in a church (building) and kneeling at the altar before God, but I am also reminded that I need to be laying my life down daily before God and the Church (body of believers) as that living sacrifice referenced in Romans 12.

I hope that each day I will be placing myself more and more on the altar...

No More "Mrs. Nice Girl"

This past weekend I was able to attend a simulcast of a "Living Proof Live" event. One of my favorite Bible study teachers, Beth Moore was in Chicago live, and she was live via video in over 5oo other places... I think the final count of all who were attending (live and through video) numbered over 125,000....that's a lot of women, and a few brave men :)

Beth's theme verse for this particular conference was Proverbs 31:26 (New King James Version) She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. I don't know about you, but I sure do want to open this "BIG" mouth with WISDOM, and of course I want to be KIND too. In today's post I won't touch on all eight points of why we need to speak with wisdom and have the "law of kindness" on our tongues, but one thing Beth talked about really stuck out to me.

Beth talked about how being kind is not the same as being nice. She said "nice is fine, but kind is divine". She then added that we can fake "nice"through flattery and other kind of ways, but you can't really fake "kind". God is kind.

One of Beth's eight points stated that "Kindness is not an action. It's a disposition." That really hit me. (This is me thinking now, not Beth). Kindness is not so much in the acts we do, but who we are...Who we are in Christ.

So all this kindness talk led me to ask myself if I am kind... I would have definitely described myself as kind, and honestly I think if people were to write down words that describe me they may write "kind" on the list. But after Beth went through scripture after scripture where the word "kind" was referenced I began to think of myself in a different way. I think a better desorption of me would be to call myself "nice". Ok, let me say there is nothing wrong with the word "nice", of course I want to be nice, but that statement about how "nice" can be faked but kindness cannot, convicted me.

I have been so guilty in the past, and even today of being nice to others because it somehow benefited me. Yes, I do like be be nice, but I have been nice to others by flattering them...making them feel good so that they would think good of me. I hate that about myself, but at the deepest level of my heart I still want to please people and make everyone happy with me. I have been nice and flattered others to get people to like me.... Not so good.

I could really go on and on about this subject, but for today I just wanted to say that I want to say so long to "Mrs. Nice Girl", and hello to having the "law of kindness" on my tongue so that I may truly touch others with God's kindness, not my own false flattery. This world needs a touch of kindness, and it is only God's kindness lived out through His children that will encourage a world where true kindness seems to have disappeared.

Dear Lord, teach me how to speak with wisdom, and help me to truly speak with kindness to everyone I come in contact with. May they see You in me.

What I Am Thankful For This Week...

I have been so, so, so busy this week. My kids are back in school, and I have been in my classroom preparing it for my new class of Preschoolers that will arrive on Sept 7th :) So one of the first things to be neglected is my bloggy... BUT so many good things have been happening that I need to write out a quick thankful list.

1. That my kids are back in school, and they are all doing so well (so far). Our family needed a regular routine to come back into our lives...school helps bring a routine to our family.

2. I am thankful to the Lord for the time He has provided to me so that I may have a regular uninterrupted "Quiet Time". I have about a block of 30 "free" minutes between the time I drop my kids off to school and the time I need to be at work. This past week I have felt spiritually revived because of this block of time. I am so thankful that the Lord has given me this gift...I have no excuse now not to have a time of prayer and Bible reading (not that I ever did)

3. I get to lead a few young women in a Small Group that has been meeting for about 8 months. These young women are some of the most wonderful, beautiful, spirited women I know. All of them are passionate about knowing Jesus more and more. I just adore them.

4. I am thankful that I get to play a small part in a new ministry that will be launched online soon...stay tuned for details. The women leading this ministry love Jesus, and they want others to know and love Him too.

5. I am thankful that my children are asking more and more questions about Jesus and what it means to have a relationship with Him.

6. I am thankful that my husband is spiritually leading our household, and that he is teaching our children about the ways of the Lord. Our boys adore Him...

7. I am thankful for the book of "James" in the Bible. I have been reading it this week, and I feel like God is opening my eyes to the many truths found in James.

8. I am thankful that when I sin, I can turn from it right away. I don't have to stay in sin. Through Christ I can overcome sin...even sin that has kept me in bondage for a very long time.

9. I am thankful for my job that will begin shortly. I get the privilege of teaching 2 classes this year, and I love-love-love the women I work with.

10. I am thankful that I had a warranty on my son's glasses that need to be replaced (I have less than a month before the warranty is up)... My son thought it was a good idea to leave his glasses on the floor while he wrestled with his brothers...too bad his brother pushed him down on top of his glasses :) But I get a new pair free :)

Well gotta go, I have about 14 people coming over in 2 hours and I still have to vacuum my floors :)

Blessings...

Despicable Me

I really could have titled this post "Selfish Me", but since I just saw the movie "Despicable Me" not too long ago I decided to go with that movie title. Actually though, being selfish is kind of despicable.


Not so long ago, I posted a link to a video by Rachel Barkey (see link a couple posts down from this one). At the time she recorded the video she was dying of terminal cancer. I think Rachel died about 3-4 months after she recorded her video speech. Rachel's story blew me away, and I have rarely seen anyone like her. I now realize that is because I was seeing Jesus in her. As I listened to her talk, I saw beauty, peace and strength. Rachel said much that I will remember, but there was one part of her speech that really got to me, and actually prompted a change in my actions.

OK, so now is where the "selfish" word comes into play. One of the top sins that I struggle with is selfishness. I know to some extent we are all selfish, but for me I am really selfish. I often have said that of all my friends when it comes to being selfish (in parenting specifically) I would rate myself last, meaning that I am the most selfish parent of us all. NOT THAT I WOULD ACTUALLY TRY TO RATE MY FRIENDS AND HOW SELFISH THEY ARE :) I just use that example to prove a point that I am the most selfish of all. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, probably too much for their liking at times, but I know deep down in my heart that I choose myself over them way too many times.

Remember I said that Rachel said something that really got to me... During her speech she talked about how selfish she was. That surprised me... I mean, here is this beautiful young mother dying a painful death, and one thing she emphasized during her speech was how sinful she was, and how much she needed Jesus. I just didn't expect that...

During Rachel's speech she said that she has been selfish with her kids. She came to a point when she realized she was saying "no" to her children all the time, and it wasn't because it was the right thing to say no, but that she was being selfish. She talked about how when her kids would ask for a snack, she would say no because she didn't want to get the snack. When her kids would jump on the bed, she would tell them no because she didn't want to make the bed up again. She mentioned that she would say no to her children when they wanted to do some type of art project because she didn't want to take the time to do the project with them (listen to her story for exact details). She then sadly said that now she says "yes" a whole lot more, because she knew how short her time was with her kids. Rachel reminded her audience not to wait until it was too late.

I was convicted immediately... I realized that I say "no" a lot to my boys. Yes, there are times when a "no" answer is appropriate, but so many times I have told my boys "no" when they asked something of me because I didn't want to do whatever they asked. I didn't want to be bothered... When I get down to the heart issue in myself I find laziness and plain old selfishness.


We are not to be selfish...God has called us to be selfless and give to others in all kinds of ways. If I can't be selfless in my own home, how I am suppose to be selfless when it comes to the world I am to be reaching for Christ? I was so thankful for what Rachel said that day, and I actually started practicing saying yes to my kids and husband more. I am still trying to say yes more everyday.

The Lord has been doing a work in my life for a long time now when it comes to me being selfish. I still find that I have to fight tooth and nail to overcome my selfish ways, but I shudder to remember what I was like 10 years ago...Let's just say not good at all... However, it is when I look back 10 years ago that I see where Jesus has brought me today, and He gets all the credit for any change in me. I wouldn't have sought on my own to change...I thought I was doing OK...It was only when Jesus shined His light into my heart that I was faced with the ugliness of my selfishness...my sin...

Thank you Lord for helping me to change, and I know I need You more than ever to keep changing my heart so that it will reflect You more. That is my goal.

"Jimmy" (Repost)

I decided to repost one of my old entries as it kind of goes along with my last 4 posts about sharing your faith... Plus, I don't have much on the old brain right now, so a repost will work fine...


I definitely paused when deciding whether or not to publish this post. Why? In the past, and sadly even today I have drawn attention to myself to get praise or feel affirmed by others. If you are reading this you know I decided to publish this entry :) I guess my hope in publishing the story is to challenge and encourage others that may act and think like me.

If you knew me, you would know how I struggle at times with being a walking contradiction. I don't like this about myself!!! My heart wants to do one thing, but my mind (and hang-ups) don't pursue the path of my heart. I could go on and on with giving you examples, but I will camp on one for today to explain what I mean.

One thing that really gets to my heart is the plight of the homeless. You know the people you run into everyday that hold up signs asking for help, work or food. Now I know not all people that hold up a sign asking for help are homeless, but I would figure that a good many of them are indeed homeless. Any time I come across someone that is asking for help or money I want to do something. Often I dig down deep into my purse to find some money, and in many cases I have given someone a dollar, or maybe five if I have it (between you and me, when I have money I could always give it).

I want to help so much more, but here is where my mind stops me, or shall I say my Fear stops me. I am just going to be honest here... Many times I am afraid to get close to what I call the homeless. Why? In short, the answer is my SIN. I think thoughts like, "What if they are sick?", or I take a look at them and see how dirty and sometimes, smelly they are, and I don't want to get to close out of fear of catching what I perceive or imagine they might have. I hate that part of myself!!! I want to love people, all people like Jesus did and does. I know I am no better, but my mind doesn't always go there with me. My heart just wants to help the homeless, and I just want to either hug them or love on them in someway, but I do not.

Recently, I have been challenged to tell the people I encounter in this way about Jesus. What good is $20.00 to someone who may not know Jesus at all? Someone that is lost and going to Hell. That is a big question I have been asked, and one that I have really been thinking about lately.

In the past I have said "God Bless You" to those that I have given money to. That is a good practice to tell people "God Bless You", but so many people, even non-Christians say "God Bless You", and in our society today it seems like it has become a catch phrase, something we say very casually without much thought to what the statement really means. I even thought that in radical cases people have even labeled themselves as gods.

A friend challenged me to ask strangers, which in this case would include the homeless, if they knew Jesus. Jesus does change everything. This has not always been easy for me, but it is something I have been convicted of in the past. OK, so I gave you all this back story to get to my real story (I hope you are still reading).

Yesterday, while in a supermarket parking lot I saw a man on a bicycle. I pretty much settled in my mind that he was homeless, or at least in a very extreme living position. From a distance, I saw him approach a woman heading to her car. Part of me wanted to help this man, but part of me wanted to hurry inside the store. I chose to hurry inside the store.

From what I saw I think the woman either ignored him or probably quickly gave him the "NO" answer to whatever he was asking her. He was not so close to me, so I thought I would make it inside the store without him seeing me.

I got out of my care and hurried to the doors, but just as quickly I heard someone behind me say "Excuse me." I knew who it was. I turned to see the man on the bike, and he asked me if I had a dollar so he could buy some sugar. I had never heard that one before, but I wanted to give him something, so I told him yes. I reached inside my bag and found a dollar and I gave it to him and he graciously told me thank you.

In that split second I was trying to think of something valuable to say to him. There was so much to say, but nothing came to me at first. The man then asked me my name, and I told him my name, and then I asked what his name was too. He said his name was Jimmy. He was smiling at me. Here is where I knew I needed to say more than "God Bless You", so I blurted out something like, "Jimmy do you know Jesus?". He replied something like, " Sure do-He's my friend-he's every body's friend."

I didn't exactly know what else to say, and I started to say something when I noticed that Jimmy started to cry, and he wiped his eyes. WOW, what an awesome moment that was for me. I can't remember exactly what my last words to Jimmy were, but after his tears I closed our conversation and told him goodbye.

I entered the supermarket feeling so many emotions. I fought back tears as I walked down the grocery store aisles. So many thoughts entered my head.
- I wished I had said more about Jesus.
-I prayed that Jesus would take my few words, and speak to Jimmy's heart.

One of the thoughts that buzzed through my mind was the fact that Jimmy asked for a dollar to buy sugar. What homeless person is going to buy sugar? I thought about how people say that many times when people are asking for money, that they will end up using it to buy drugs or alcohol instead of using it for what they really need. I have kind of adopted the belief that it doesn't really matter what they end up spending the money on. They will one day answer to God what they have done, but I just need to do as I feel led in situation like this one.

In this situation I did think Jimmy was lying, and that he probably would spend the money on something different. However, I didn't really care so much about that because I know Jesus can speak to Jimmy's heart if He chose to.

I got in line to purchase my item, and as I sat my item down I heard someone behind me say my name. I turned to see Jimmy in line behind me. Guess what he was holding? A big bag of ice, and a small box of SUGAR packets. He quickly showed me the sugar packets. I think in some way he showed me the sugar to prove to me he really did what he said he was going to do with that dollar of mine. You can imagine how humbled I felt in my heart at that moment.

I asked Jimmy what he wanted the sugar for, and he told me that he likes to drink ice tea. Me too... I wanted to do so much more to help, so I asked him if I could buy his two items. He told me that he got the sugar from the Dollar Store next door. He did that the minute I gave him the money. Humbled more.

I bought him the ice and he profusely thanked me. Jimmy's countenance looked cheerful. We talked a bit more. Jimmy asked me where I was headed and he told me where he would soon be going. I don't remember all we said, but I ended the conversation telling Jimmy that I would pray for him. Then I left the store.

I have a feeling Jimmy doesn't get talked to very often, or that he is probably isn't treated as if he matters much.

I don't want me sharing this story to come off as a look what I did story, because honestly I didn't do too much. My flesh wants to praise myself for doing a good deed, but my spirit rejoices that God used me in a small way to make Jimmy smile, and maybe even for a moment Jimmy didn't feel like an outcast.

God showed me something huge yesterday. Honestly, what are the chances that Jimmy would show up in a line behind me with a box of sugar in hand? Moments earlier I was thinking why didn't Jimmy come up with a better line than he wanted to buy a box of sugar. God was so gracious to me by allowing me to encounter Jimmy with that sugar. It just confirmed to me once again that I am not to worry about the results of what I feel God is leading me to do. I am just to obey.

I probably will never run into Jimmy again in my life, but I can rest assured that if Jesus is after Jimmy's heart heart than he will know it. I can also rest assured that God will use everyday events like this situation to humble and make more pure a wretched sinful heart like my own.

I have had a wonderful vacation so far with my family, but I think my experience with Jimmy will stay with me for a long time. It maybe one of my best memories from this year's vacation. Thank you God for meeting me and Jimmy in a supermarket parking lot.... YOU ARE GOOD!!!

God Showed Up at TGIF (Part 4...the final post :)

OK, I have full confidence that I will finish up my story today. However, I have had such a good time remembering some of the experiences that have happened to me. As I age I forget things, so blogging has helped me document those important life events I don't want to forget. Again, if you are reading this post for the first time, scroll down and catch (Parts 1, 2 and 3).

OK, the last post talked a lot about how I had my own hang ups about how things should go when I go to a Christian conference. I still have my issues, but God has showed me that I just need to get over my sinful self and think about others.

Part 2 of this story is kind of where I stopped talking about what happened at TGIF's. My friends and I had just shared the gospel message with our waiter JR. He listened to us, and as I stated I think he was genuinely thankful that we shared the "good news" with him. He promised us that he would go home and think about what we said, and read the literature that we left with him.

At this point I was beyond thrilled about what had just happened at our table. On the other hand, I was getting a little anxious about the time factor. It was around 5:30 and the conference started at 6PM. Plus the fact that we had to meet two other women that I had invited to go with us to the conference made me a little more nervous. As the group coordinator I didn't want to let anyone down. BUT, I truly knew what was happening at TGIF was more important than me making it to the conference so I could see and sing with the Praise Team (Part 3 really goes into detail on this subject).

While I was thinking about all of this, something unexpected happened. JR brings his female cousin that also worked at TGIF to meet us. She was so polite and sweet... But in my mind (I think my friends too), we were wondering why JR wanted us to meet his cousin. Again, I felt like this maybe another opportunity the Lord was placing in front of us. I wondered if JR wanted my friends and I to share the gospel with his cousin too. At the same time I was getting nervous about how much time we had left to get to the conference. As small talk was passed around our table I was in a mental war as of what we should do. Do we dismiss ourselves and go to the conference, or do we share the gospel with JR's cousin? Not knowing what to do, I decide to go to the ladies room (that is always a good option when you don't know what to do, and you have had too many glasses of water :)

So I went to the restroom and tried to refocus myself...Taking that break helped a bit. To my surprise when I return my two friends are engaging JR's cousin in a talk about Jesus. WOW!!! I find out later that my one friend told JR's cousin (let's call her Tessa) that we were just talking with JR about Jesus before he brought her to our table. My friend asked Tessa if she knew about Jesus... Then much like what I did, my best friend began asking Tessa questions about her life and what she believed about God. I will say that although Tessa was as sweet as can be she had a different reaction to the things of God. Without taking too much time to go into everything we talked about, Tessa really didn't know what she believed. She sort of believed in God, but at times maybe not even so sure there is a God. My friend once again, did a wonderful job at answering some tough questions.

Things were winding down again, and we thanked Tessa for listening to us, and asked her to consider the things we said. My friend again left Tessa some information that she could go home and read that would further explain what we had been talking with her about. Although, Tessa did not respond as favorably as JR did, my friends and I were thrilled about what had just happened at our table.

Something neat happened as my friend and I were walking back to the restroom. I saw Tessa talking with two other employees, and she had the booklet opened that my friend had given her. She noticed us, and we kindly said hello. I got so tickled that she was telling the other employees about what had happened...NOW she might have been saying how there were three crazy ladies talking with her and asking her a lot of questions, and that would be OK. Whatever she was sharing with the other employees made me happy because it means she was talking about it...

Later, my best friend said something like, "no conference could be better than what we had just experienced". I so know what she was talking about... We were living out what we believed... All of us left there excited, knowing that we were just planting little "seeds" for Jesus, and in His timing He would do the reaping according to His good will.

The conference was very good, but I truly will remember what happened at TGIF's when I think about that weekend. I have a long way to go when it comes to sharing my faith...Since that night at TGIF I have missed opportunities to share my faith, but I try to use those times to challenge myself the next time an opportunity arises to tell other about Jesus.

Thanks for sticking with me through these posts... I hope they encouraged you in some way...

God Showed Up at TGIF (Part 3)

I think today I will finally finish my story... we will see :)

If you want to read parts 1 and 2, just scroll down a little and you can be informed on what has happened so far...

So the story leaves off where my friends and I were thanking JR for listening to us (sharing the gospel). As things were winding down with JR, I was getting a little nervous about our time frame. Me and my two friends were due to meet two other women at the conference site at 6PM. Looking at my phone, I saw that it was around 5:30 PM. OK, here is where I need to tell another background story so you will know all the thoughts that were racing through my head.

My best friend and I (she is the one in this story who shared the gospel with JR) went to a Christian Women's conference together about 2 or 3 years ago. This event was huge, as I think there were 10,000 women in attendance (and more at a satellite site). Both my friend and I have had the wonderful opportunity over the last 1o years to go to many different Christian conferences, many of them we attended together. I would say that both of us had always gleaned something from every conference we have been too. Actually, a few of the conferences I attended were huge turning points for me in my walk with Jesus... spiritual markers.

I will speak for myself here, in the beginning when I started going to Christian conferences they were like major events...like a spiritual shots in the arm. I had a lot of expectation when I went to the conferences that I wanted to come away totally a different person...totally changed for Christ. As I have matured, now I see I put too much expectation on what the conference would do for me... The conferences should have been encouragement along the way, not my main source of change. My daily relationship with Christ should be where the most change happens.

By the time I went to this conference with my friend I had a better understanding of what I should expect from a conference. I wanted to listen to see if God wanted to show me something during my time at the conference. BUT I still did have my little ideas about how things should be at the conference... I wanted to be on time for sure. I wanted to sit close so I could really engage with worship and the speakers.... I just wanted to have the perfect little conference experience. However, this time I would have a bit of a wake up call.


First of all, my friend and I were running a little late to the conference, and as you can imagine a conference that was sold out with 10,000 women in attendance would cause a little bit of traffic congestion. So on the outside I am playing it cool, but on the inside I am a little stressed. In my head I am thinking..."there goes our good seats". My friend and I press on, and finally find a parking spot. Things are good now.

However, as we are walking to the conference center entrance my friend and I come across a homeless man. AHHH... this is where things get a little tough. You see I have such a heart anytime I see someone that is homeless or asking for help or money. My heart is always drawn deeply to do something. Sadly, fear and not knowing what to do has kept me from helping more times than I liked to admit.

There were many women still on their way into the conference, my friend and I included, and we walked right past this man into our happy little arena filled with brothers and sisters in Christ. As I walked by, both my friend and I were convicted that we should stop and talk with him, but we just didn't know exactly what to do. Also, in my head the conference had already started and I didn't want to miss any of it.

Right here, I will say that I don't know that there were not other women that day that stopped and talked with the homeless man, but from my viewpoint and that of my friend all we saw were a bunch of Christian women (us included) that were passing this man by so that we could go to a Christian conference and learn more about Jesus. Something was wrong.

My friend and I entered the door of the arena, and I think we went straight to the restroom. I could hear that the worship had already begun, so we were late. However, the weight of what my friend and I just did...walk by a man who needed help and needed Jesus... was heavy on us both. I think my friend said something about how ironic it was that all of these women are here to go to a Christian conference, and yet we all walk by and don't share the love of Christ with this hurting soul outside (paraphrasing). I so agreed in my heart.

I then asked my friend if she wanted to go back outside and talk with him. She quickly agreed and we both went outside to talk to the unknown homeless man. Nervously, we approached the man and talked with him for awhile. I wish I could remember everything that was said, but basically we told the man about Jesus. He told us he did know Jesus, but he has just been in a bad place for a long time. We encouraged him as could, and we even prayed with him. I don't know what that experience did for that man...I don't know where he is today, but according to his reaction that night I do believe that he felt Jesus loved him and didn't forget him...even in a sea of 10,000 women.

My friend and I went back into the conference and we were really late by this time... We had to sit at the tippy top of the arena...I mean tippy top, we were the last row of seats. We were way high up, and both of us probably didn't engage with the speakers as we might have if we were closer, but there was something in us that day that was filled with joy because of our experience with the man outside.

I tell this story not to "toot" my own horn... to brag that my friend and I witnessed to the man when no one else would. Maybe that man was put there by God that night just so my friend and I would be challenged to step outside of our comfort zone and practice what we had been preaching.

That night my friend showed me that it was not about us going to a conference to get our spiritual tanks filled up, but that the experience with the man is what it was all about...living out what we have been taught at all those conferences. It didn't matter that we were late and missed all of worship, and it didn't matter that we had the worst seats in the house, but it did matter if we passed a man who needed to know the love of Christ in order to go get a good seat at a conference. God used my friend and a homeless man that night to open my closed eyes... I love Him and I love her too.

Alright, I guess there will be a part 4, but I promise part 4 will be short :)

Submission DOES NOT EQUAL Slavery

Disclaimer: This post is about being a submissive wife...right now I will say that I still have a long way to go to be the submissive wife God wants me to be. There are thousands of other women who are better suited to write this blog post, but I figure that there too are many women just like me that have struggled in being submissive to their husbands, so I share my story in hopes of encouraging others...

OK, I really wanted to use the not equal symbol for my title, but I couldn't find it on my keyboard :) I know my title is a bit bold, but I really find it true most of the times when I mention the word submission as it applies to a wife. Now I am not surprised at all when women that are not Christians do not understand what being a submissive wife means. In today's society I think women who do not follow Christ can get their ideas from what the "world" says a wife should be. Although, I know there are many women that are not Christians that really for all intents and purposes submit to their husbands, and easily could be labeled a submissive wife.

I guess my surprise comes when I mention being a submissive wife in Christian circles and I get the talk about how we shouldn't be slaves to our husbands. Like I said in my disclaimer above, I am no expert in the arena of being a submissive wife, but I am learning. I fail more than I would like to admit, and on a bad day you may not be able to tell that I have come a long way in this area, but I still press on. I think there are probably a couple reasons I come across the "slavery talk" when it comes to submission. One...I think women just have not been taught what being a submissive wife really looks like in real life. Two...Women just don't want to be submissive (this is where I was for a long time...In Sin). There are definitely more reasons, but that is not what this post is about.

I felt the need to write this post because a couple of things happened while I was on vacation that got me thinking about this subject. The first thing that happened was someone quickly linked something I said about how a wife should treat their husband with the idea that I was saying the woman should be a doormat...I didn't refer to anything like that... I think I said something about how a women should respect her man and not say anything bad about him. BUT it was the second situation that happened that really stuck with me and made me want to write this post.

While on vacation, my hubby and I took the boys to a restaurant to eat dinner. The restaurant was pretty empty. We sat toward the back of the restaurant (I wondered if the sight of 3 rambunctious boys made the server sit us in the back :) There was only one other couple in our area, and if I remember correctly the young couple had 3 girls with them.

We enjoyed our dinner and our kids were finishing up eating their dessert. The other couple got up to leave, and as they walked by our table the father was holding his little girl by her feet and swinging her. I think he let her go (not dropped her) and she was on the floor. The woman who I assume was his wife said something like, "Seriously, what are you doing..." He said something about this restaurant being a place to have fun. She then replied (I am paraphrasing here), "Grow up, you are embarrassing me. These people (talking about us) are trying to eat dinner." Again I don't know that I got all her words correct, but she basically said what I quoted above. The other thing that got to me was her tone with her husband...it was so cold. It was like she was mothering him.

Right away I felt sorry for the husband. A wife should not do that to her husband. I have been that wife, a million times and more. Maybe I didn't scold my husband in a restaurant in front of others, but I have surely demeaned him in front of others more times than I can remember.

-I have been sarcastic with him

-I have told him what to do

-I have acted like his mother

-I have been embarrassed of him because of the way I thought he made me look

-I have corrected him in front of others

I could go on with this list, but I don't want too...I will wrap it up here and nail it down to one big statement. I have not RESPECTED my husband the way God calls me to.

After the couple left the restaurant I said something to my husband about how sorry I felt for the husband, and the first thing that my husband said was although the wife did do something wrong that basically can cut to the core of a man's soul, she was right. I was shocked by what my husband said...he was defending the wife. I thought my husband would be so glad that I noticed what the wife did wrong, and my husband was telling me what the husband did wrong. My hubby said that in theory his wife was right. The husband was not taking into consideration the other guests in the restaurant and how they might feel by his antics. (SIDENOTE: We could care less that the man was playing with his daughter, but we realize that some patrons would have a problem with this...whether they were right or wrong).

My hubby went onto say that the wife probably thinks that how the husband acted was a poor reflection on her, and what kind of mom she is. Right or wrong, I still thought it was amazing that my hubby was trying to look at things from the wife's perspective even though he disagreed with how she treated the husband. I just want you to know that this little experience shows how the Lord has grown me and my husband in our marriage. I was looking at the situation from how the wife mistreated the husband, and my hubby was trying to imagine how the wife felt even though she was wrong in how she demeaned her husband. WOW!!!

Our God is amazing, and I am thankful that He opened my eyes to how I treated my husband. There came a point in my life that I wanted to get serious in my relationship with the Lord, and my sinful actions as a wife to my husband were keeping me from growing deeper with Jesus. I had to face the sin in my own life and own up to my part of how I was not treating my husband the way God called me to, regardless of how my husband was treating me. So I determined to go a different way...God's Way, and the most amazing thing happened.... My husband began to change too, and he started becoming the man of God that I wanted to submit to, even when it was hard to submit :)

Although my hubby and I don't do this marriage thing perfectly and sometimes not even well, God has become the center of our marriage, and He is changing us into a couple that we could not have imagined we could ever be. To Him be the Praise!!!

God Showed Up at TGIF (Part 2)

This post, although titled differently is Part 2 of my last post. A disclaimer before I begin... The title of this post reads "God Showed Up..." In all reality God always shows up...He is always there, but sometimes I don't always sense His presence, but on this particular day I just knew His presence was near.

If you have not read my previous post, you probably should take a few minutes to do so...that way this post will make a little more sense. After my experience of giving out a gospel tract to the woman at the McDonald's Drive Thru, I knew that things needed to change with me being more bold in sharing my faith with strangers. I was so thankful that my friend challenged me by pushing me out of my comfort zone at McDonalds, but I knew this experience was only a small step on a very big ladder for me.

The day after my experience at McD's, my friend and I were headed to a Beth Moore conference in St. Louis. We were going to the conference with 3 other women from my Church. My friend and I were driving to St. Louis with one of the other women, and the other 2 were planning on meeting us in St. Louis.

My 2 friends and I arrived in St. Louis and checked into our hotel...we were hungry so we decided to go the TGIF that was located inside of the hotel. Our waiter was super outgoing, friendly, and adorable. Ok, I can say adorable because he was in his early 20's and I felt more like a mother figure to him. I noticed that our waiter, let's call him J.R. seemed to linger at our table longer than waiters normally do. I began to have a sense that this maybe one of those times God wanted me (and my friends) to tell JR about Him. Sensing this I began to ask JR questions about his life. JR was very forthcoming and really shared more detail about his life than I expected. Actually, he shared very personal things about his life. Once he really opened up about his life I felt convicted all the more that I (we) needed to tell JR about God.

JR had mentioned that one of his dreams was to be a singer. It was not too long after that, that I asked him to sing us a song. He quickly obliged. To our shock and enjoyment he sat down at our table and sang us a song he used to sing to his younger brother at bedtime. JR had a beautiful voice and we were quite impressed. My mind was racing, and pretty much after this I knew that I had to say something about God...This was an open door if I ever had seen one when it comes to sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I forget all the details, but pretty much after JR sang I said something like "So JR, my friends and I are here to go to a Christian women's conference, so I just wanted to ask you, do you go to Church? He then said he did, and then I said something like, "Does your Church teach about Jesus?". He replied that he did know about Jesus, and then we talked a little more. Again, I so wish I remembered everything that I said, but I don't...but it wasn't too long after that JR said something about being a "good person". It was then, that I kicked (a light kick) my best friend (the one that challenged me to give a tract away at McDonalds) in the leg under the table. I wanted her to take over, and she is so smart that she realized what my kicking her meant.

My awesome friend, then went to work leading JR through some tough, but needed questions. She then was able to share with JR about what Jesus did for him on the Cross. I just knew that the Holy Spirit was working through her... The really cool thing is that I could sense that the Spirit was working in JR's heart too. It was almost as if I could see the wheels turning in JR's mind, as my friend shared the good news about Jesus. I think JR realized that it would take more than just being a "Good" person to get him to Jesus. JR responded so well, and he was so polite. I think he appreciated what we were sharing with him. My friend gave him a booklet that shared more information with him about being a Christian. I thanked JR for listening and told him that we were sharing this message with him because we care. I really think he believed us. I ended up even giving him a hug (that's me the hugger).

There is another really cool thing that happened that night at TGIF. If I tell it now, I need to give you a background story too, so I will end here for now, and continue with a Part 3 of this story soon.

I also want to say that I only shared what was going through my mind that night at TGIF. I am sure that each of my friends could write their own story as well.

Christina, if you read this please share what was going through your mind that night too.

Stay tuned for Part 3..

Pushed Out of My Comfort Zone (Part 1)

I have to break this story down into separate posts, or else I think readers will see the post and think too long and say goodbye :) I have to go back a little bit to set this post up so it will make more sense to you.

I was introduced to Jesus at the age of nine and this year I will be 40... This fact tells you that I have had knowledge of Jesus for about 30 years. I accepted Jesus as my Savior at age nine, but feel I really did not understand my decision of what it means to be a true follower of Christ until my 20's. BUT regardless of that fact, I have always known that as a Christian I should be sharing my faith on a regular basis. During the past 30 years I have shared my faith, but here and there, and not on a regular basis...not as Jesus would want me to.

Over the last 5 years I have been convicted of the fact that I don't share my faith with others...that I don't share the good news of the Gospel with others... If I get real honest with myself I would just have to admit that I am down right scared to share my faith boldly, and if I am even a little more honest with myself I have been ashamed to share my faith. The bible has much to say about those who are ashamed of Jesus, and it is not at all good...it is terrifying.

In the past I have put too much stock in the approach of sharing my faith only when asked about it by others, or else when there are those NEON FLASHING moments in life that tell me that this is a good time to tell whomever about Jesus. There have been instances in life where I have brought up God with others, but only once in awhile. Things needed to change in my life, and I really felt like the Lord was showing me my sin in the area of telling others about Him.

One TV program that helped me during this time was "The Way of the Master" hosted by Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron. I could probably write a whole long post about this show, but for time sake I will just say that God used this program to show me my lack of love for those who are dying and going to an eternity without the Lord...which is Hell. Wow, it is weird to use that word anymore...I don't hear people (even in the Christian circles) talking about Hell anymore...Even I don't like to say that word to people, but Hell is real, and a place that none of us want to go when we die.

I know there are some out there that think "The Way of the Master" approach is bold and it can turn people off, but the reality is that sometimes we have to be bold...and that may put people off... The Bible is clear too that many will reject Jesus...so we shouldn't be surprised when people reject Jesus...reject us.

There are those that say we should evangelize using "relationship evangelism" (build relationships with others first, then witness). I am not ruling out this approach at all, as there are those people that the Lord will put in our lives to build relationships with and hopefully they will come to Christ as we share our faith with them. BUT how many people do we come in contact with that we will never really have a chance to build a relationship with??? More than we could ever count... When I have my eyes open to this fact I see a whole world out there that I come in contact with daily (that is if I leave my house).

OK, all this to say the Lord has awakened me to my lack and sin in the area of sharing my faith, and He is awakening me to the world around me... I am only at the beginning stage, but my eyes have been opened to those around me that do not know Christ. I do know Him, and I have a responsibility to share what I know about Jesus... I don't have an excuse anymore...not like I ever did.

I knew that I couldn't keep this post short :) So I will wrap up here with an experience that happened to me a couple of weeks ago... My best friend came to see me from New York, and I will say that she also has been on a similar journey as myself with God opening her eyes to the fact that she should be sharing her faith as well. The only thing is that she has been on this journey a bit longer and the Lord has been challenging her to share her faith boldly. She has been pushing herself out of her comfort zone for the last couple of months when it comes to witnessing to others. She has really encouraged me in this area more than she knows.

A couple of weeks ago while she was visiting we went through a McDonald's Drive-Thru. As I paid the cashier I said something about witnessing to the cashier, and then my friend told me to give a tract to the employee at the next window (I already passed the cashier)... All of the sudden I just panicked and said that I couldn't...My friend then told me that I was going to do it... I had too (not in a bossy way, but in a down right challenging and convicting way)... As I waited to get to the second window, I realized how crazy I was acting... I knew my friend was right... I had to give that employee a tract...how could I be ashamed to give a simple tract to an employee??? I was afraid, and I knew that I had to do it. I mean, if I can't give a tract (publication with the message of Jesus on it) to a stranger, how would I ever actually have a conversation with someone about Jesus. I was convicted to the core, and although I was still nervous I gave the woman at the second window the tract. This was a turning point for me, and soon I would be challenged once again in the area of sharing my faith, only this time I would be doing more than just giving a tract away.

I will end for now, and pick up with Part 2 of my story titled, "God Shows Up at TGIF".

No Crying (or Yelling) Over Spilt Milk

(Finally I am actually writing a personal blog post...no review of movies or products :)

Well, I have to give a little background before I share what happened to me a couple of weeks ago...this is actually one of those "Full Circle" kind of stories if you want to call it that... I kind of think of it as a redemption story in many ways :)

I am guessing I have probably written about my struggle with anger on this blog, but maybe not. It took me a long time to say out loud that I struggled with anger... Anger is such an ugly word, and when I think of anger I normally think of it as a struggle for men more than women. Plus, I didn't know at the time many women who were at least admitting to struggling with anger... Who really wants to say, "Hi, I'm _____ and I'm Angry" NOT ME.

Anger just didn't fit with my sweet personality (OK, you probably think I struggle with pride too after saying I am sweet, but I only use sweet to describe my personality...I love people and I love to talk to everyone). My "sweet" personality only helped to disguise my anger problem for a long time...most people never had me pegged as a person who deals with anger. Shoot, I didn't have me pegged as an angry person. It is funny how blind a person can be.

I am going to have to shorten the details of my struggle with anger for the sake of the few that may read this post...I guess in the bloggy world, long posts are not good. I hope to keep writing about my journey with anger more on this blog in the future, but for the sake of this post I will say this.... God opened my eyes to my struggle with anger about 10 years ago, and through Christ I now would now not classify myself as a person that struggles with anger (at least chronically). I may get angry and respond in the wrong manner, but again through Christ I feel like I have been set free (at least for the most part :) from anger.

OK, so how does anger relate to spilt milk??? I so wish I could tell you the whole story of my journey to freedom from anger, but for now I will just share what you need to know for my blog post title to make sense. Before I really began my journey with God to be set free, little things could send me into a verbal tirade... Not with swear words, but with loud, mean-spirited comments. (Confession: I want to stop writing this post...it feels bad to see myself in this light, but the truth is what sets us free...Jesus is Truth, so I will continue) Sadly, my anger surfaced most with my kids (and Hubby)...Actually, it was through my children that God opened my eyes to my anger problem, and He began setting me free.

I remember one time one of my children spilled juice (I think it was red) all over my floor. It was an accident, but I just didn't feel that way. I don't remember what I said, but I just remember being so frustrated and angry that I just started yelling at the child and blaming him for spilling the juice... The more I cleaned up the juice, the more I became more frustrated and just keep yelling at my child. My child was scared and I know that I crushed his spirit.


It seemed my anger was brought out in many situations like the one above... Time and time again I would lose it because I was frustrated with the situation. For a brief minute, I would think I would feel better if I just let it all out... For a brief second it would feel good, but after a few minutes had passed I always felt horrible about the way I reacted. Sometimes, I would cry and pray for forgiveness, and other times I would seek out the person I yelled out so I could apologize... The cycle was never ending... I wanted to get out of the crazy cycle....One day I did...

One of the most amazing things about my journey to freedom from anger is that I can't even tell you how it happened. All I know is that it began with a honest admission to God (and many others) that I had an anger problem, and the rest is kind of a mystery to me about how I was set free, but I was (still am in the process). God is faithful!!!

So fast forward about 8 years... I think it was last week that I was sleeping in, and one of my boys run into the bedroom to tell me that "Terminator" (my youngest) spilled milk all over the floor. I even think my child told me that it was the whole gallon of milk...OK, that got me a little freaked out, so I calmly (well sort of calmly) get up to survey the damage. As I round the corner, I see Terminator holding what is left of the cracked gallon of milk in his little hands, and what was not still in the milk jug was all over my kitchen floor. How would I respond? That was the question...

I took a deep breath, and took action. I took the broken jug from Terminator and had him move away from the milk. About that time my mother in law came in (she had stayed the night) and she asked how she could help. I asked her to get some towels from my closet so I could sop up the milk. OK, I could give you the step by step, but let's just say I cleaned up all the milk with the towels, and all was well again. No yelling, no verbal tirades, no making my boy feel like a failure for spilling the milk.

My story ends with my Terminator coming over to me wondering if he was going to get in trouble (I am sure my other boys had him convinced he was in trouble). I asked him if it was an accident and he told me it was. I then asked Terminator if he gets in trouble for accidents, to which he told me no, but I think he was still not sure. I assured him we don't, and he walked away a happy, but milk sticky kid.

It was not long after that God reminded me of where I have come in my struggle with anger...10 Years ago, things would have went a lot differently with the spilled milk... Redemption...full circle...whatever you want to call it. God did the impossible, but He is in the business of doing the impossible, so I never should be surprised, but thankful... Praise be to God!!!

OK, I ended up writing a long post anyway... Hope you made it to the end of the post :)
Blessings Friends...